Thursday, 2 September 2010

Welcome... my new blog.

This is another weight loss blog. Yes, another one. Have you had enough of all the weight loss blogs out there? Fine, go somewhere else...

If not, welcome again.

I was inspired to write this for one reason. When I look at the weight loss blogs out there in cyberspace, the vast majority of them are written by people who have successfully lost a whole lot of weight. I have been trying to lose weight, unsuccessfully, for the better part of my life. I have that in common with most other bloggers too...

I am an analytical kind of Moose, better known for contemplation than action. My simple correlation analysis in this case is as follows:
Write weight loss blog = weight loss success.

So here I am.

As is "normal" I shall start with some explanations...
Belgian = currently working in Belgium.
Moose = an old nickname, far more interesting than my real name.
Chocolate = to encourage visitors (usually works, especially on the theme of weight loss!) AND because it's the only word I know that can come in between "Belgian" and "Moose" and make perfect sense.
And for those already ahead of themselves (see my sign-off if you want to pretend too...), Muffin the Moose refers to a well known children's book "If you give a moose a muffin..." (all credits duly given etc etc...). In the afore-mentioned book, the answer is: he's going to want some jam with it...and then want another. Well, that's me. I always want jam and another muffin (or biscuit, or chocolate mousse...see what I did there?) and that's why I currently stand on my technologically advanced fat % measuring scales at:
118.3 kg
...ok, I'm not actually standing on them right now. that would be both impossible (the scales are in the UK) and freaky (having a computer in the bathroom where I keep my scales). For the purposes of this blog, that shall be called the starting weight.
My latest failed efforts have involved detailed tracking of my weight every week since December 2009. Starting at a high point of 121.3 kg, I have lost the grand total of 3kg in 38 weeks...about the equivalent of a few rather large Sh*ts - and I don't mean Jack. My goal in this epic struggle was to lose 20kg by the beginning of November 2010. And if you do the sums, you can see that it is abject failure. And before anyone comments, OK I lost 3 kg. But look out there...check out Jack Sh*t's League of Extraordinarily Fat Gentlemen if you don't believe me. It's a failure. I'm the one without the X.

And being an analytical kind of Moose, I have spent some time researching the phenomenon of weight loss success. And realised what I was doing wrong. Forget all the crap about eating fewer calories than you burn. Forget low-fat, low-carb diets. Forget de-tox. Forget drinking water before each meal. Forget pills and supplements. Watch as much TV as you like while eating (eat the TV too if you really want to). Force your food down as fast as you want. Don't bother with a food diary. And target setting, pah!
All of the above makes no difference at all. The only thing that makes you successful in losing weight is writing a blog about it. Yep, it's that simple. All the weight loss theory blown out of the water in 1 blog entry.

OK, I admit I might be doing a few of those other things too...more on that at a later stage. For now, I think it's enough welcoming and time to get on with some work.

1 comment:

  1. You know that I'm a big believer in the power of weight-loss blogs. It's hard not to be focused on your journey when you're writing about it often. And it's difficult to not enjoy some success when you're putting your weight out there for the world to see every so often.

    Best of luck with this campaign, my friend. I'm rooting for ya!