Forcing out a post...

It's getting harder to force out a post every day. But that is exactly what I need to do. For me. Not for anyone else. Just for me.

I have just read a blog that talked about inspiring others towards weight loss. I will be brutally honest...that's not why I'm here. I'm here to inspire ME towards weight loss. Just at the moment I don't give a cr*p about inspiring others. (Nobody is reading anyway)
I have to be selfish and single-minded about it. If that makes me a bad person, sorry, but that's the way it needs to be for me at the moment. I'm just being honest about it. Maybe when my weight is under control and down below 100kg I can worry about inspiring others. Or maybe I can worry about just staying there once I'm there.

And as to Marie Clair - at least it sparks the debate. I stand by my original analysis that blogging helps you lose weight. No, is essential for losing weight. I don't really care if it's sponsored. I don't really care if it's good nutritional advice. I don't really care about the foibles, obsessions or addictions of bloggers.

My list for giving it everything probably defies 99% of dieting and nutritional rules. But I'm not expecting anyone to follow it. Hey, I'm not even following it myself!
September has given ME insight into ME. What works for ME. What I can stick to and what I can't stick to. And do you know what? That's about the most important thing it could have done for me...

Weight 116.2. Weight loss during "Giving it Everything" September 2kg. Total weight loss 2kg.

I have an idea for October. Yes I know it's already begun...I will be implementing this idea from tomorrow. I'm just not allowed to say what it is because I will be accused of sponsorship or leading nobody astray.

Uninspired

I seem to have run out of things to say. Which is a very bad sign and extremely unusual for me.
A number of days travelling and in meetings have meant no blogging. And then when I do get the chance to be sittting in my office, sun shining, cool breeze coming in from the window, I've got nothing.
I've cruised by a few other blogs to see what's up there and see if I get inspired. Nope... (not that other blogs aren't inspiring per se, just that they didn't seem to trigger me into having anything inspiring to write.
Even i'm bored with this post and am seriously considering going to get another coffee...

I'm back. With another coffee. And maybe some inspiration after all.

I have often wondered about the impact of my coffee consumption on my weight. I would decribe myself as a "heavy" coffee drinker. Not "excessive", not "compulsive", nor "occasional". Just heavy.
This can range from 3 to 6 cups a day..although the definition of a cup is clearly very variable...from an espresso in an Italian roadside coffee shop to a Starbucks Venti. My analytical research ends up with a largely inconclusive conclusion - if that's even possible.
Coffee is a stimulant. A stimulant to what? Well, among other things, a stimulant to the metabolism. I feel that I can train longer and harder if I drink a coffee right before exercise. A gym cardio session first thing in the morning without caffeine is a big struggle. Slide a double espresso in right before the session and it becomes a bit easier. Train at 6pm after a coffee-fuelled work day and the workout flies by.
As to calories, this is entirely dependent on exactly how the caffeine is ingested. "Best" has to be an espresso, nothing added. But I like sugar in my espresso...I normally drink filter coffee at work. Well I call it filter coffee as the closest equivalent - it's actually a liquid coffee concentrate watered down with hot water from a machine. Now I like my coffee white, so normally I buy a stock of regular milk from the supermarket. Just at the moment though, I have run out, and instead use the "concentrate" little jiggers (I hope that's not rude for anyone else...) and worry they are bad for me and packed with too much sugar/calories/fat etc. But at least they are not as bad as some choices. In the summer, I do tend to suffer from overheating and sweating quite a lot. Us fat mooses do. So I like the odd "refreshing iced caffeinated beverage" from any one of the coffee chains. This summer just gone, I purchased one of the aforementioned Frappucinnato thingies and, for the first time ever, actually observed closely what was going on. Large blender jug...add ice (good), add semi-skimmed milk (OK, I prefer full fat but I can go with the flow), add a double shot of espresso (excellent)...now we go for the blender, right? Wrong! Now we add in a very large scoop of "Frappucinato mix". This was before I hit "Giving it Everything" September so I held my tongue, but the question racing through my brain was "what is that mix stuff?" Of course, one of the reasons I didn't actually ask was because I knew the answer...and while some of it is some thickening/foaming agent stuff (better not to ask exactly what it is but I bet it starts with E), I know what the vast nmajority is. It's sugar. You don't get a sweet-tasting frozen caffeinated beverage that both refreshes and brings your customers back begging for more without some nice addictive substances, now do you?
There was a report out some years ago measuring the calorific content of the coffee chain staples. And it is quite horrific. I have to admit that my experience in the summer was the last time I had such a coffee. In my new house I have an ice machine in the freezer and can make my own "normal" iced coffees with just ice, coffee and milk.

The Moose's conclusion on coffee is probably rather dull. Everything in moderation. A moderate amount of coffee is probably neutral at worst and slightly beneficial at best, as long as it is not adulterated by the addition of sugar, syrups, cream (whipped or otherwise), caramel, or other agents (identifiable or unidentifiable).
Cheers. Now my second coffee is gone as well...shall I get another before I get on with work?
Make mine a....coffee. Pure and simple.

Paying for my sins

Weigh in at 117.6kg. Gain of 0.4kg for the week. Total loss 0.7kg.

So much for giving it everything. I'm giving it a lot but thinking back over the last week after a somewhat depressing weigh-in, I realised that, strangely enough, I ate too much and didn't exercise enough. Funny that.
A number of unnecessary calories went down the hatch, not only the Curious Incident of the 3 Big Macs in the Nightime, but so many others too. Only one big cardio session in the week. More injuries and too many excuses. I simply can't rely on all the other stuff on the Giving it Everything list and not obey the two top ones. My body will repay me for the neglect. This week it definitely has.

Personal Training

I ended the relationship with my second PT yesterday. He's done nothing wrong but it looks likely I won't be in Belgium for much longer, I was at the end of payment plan and so decided to stop it there and then. The review is not bad...my weight was stable for most of the time, but we have explored a lot of reasons for my lack of mobility, injuries, nutrition etc and I am finally on a downward trend. This is of course due to blogging and Giving it Everything rather than anything specific he did.

Last time I had a PT, I put on weight. I got into the habit of only training with him and not otherwise. Plus Christmas was in the middle of it all, for which he was clearly not to blame. I have a theory and concern that many PT clients fall into my habit. There is an element of believing that because you do fantastic workouts with a PT, you have got it covered. But once a week is never enough...and who's got the money to spare to do more than that? Also, I do believe there is an inherent danger of being so reliant on the PT, that when you hit the gym without him or her, you are left wondering what to do.

This is not to say that the functional training that PTs tend to specialise in isn't a good thing. But I'm still searching for the ideal way to get that AND train "normally' and often on top. I will go it alone for the next few months, and will then consider if I get a new PT once settled into my new location.

Talking of which, do I have to change the name of the blog? Nothing else works...so I think it has to stay despite my time in Belgium coming to an end.

Sleep

I identified sleep as maybe one of the more unusual members of my Giving it Everything September weight loss list. Part of this is down to my adrenal gland issues and the recommendations that sleep is vital in coaxing fatigued adrenals back to life. And a part is the observed correlation in weight loss research between sleep and weight loss.

My "usual" sleep pattern has been as follows:

• Fall asleep on the sofa with the TV and lights on at about 10.30pm
• Sleep fitfully and badly until somewhere between 2am and 4am (and on rare occasions until 6 or 7 am; I once saw a World Series Baseball game after such a night, the year the RedSox won it - we have friends in Boston and count ourselves as mini-fans)
• Peel the contact lenses from my eyes and get into bed
• Lie awake for anything between 30 mins and the rest of the night
• Sometimes get a few hours until the alarm shakes me back to life

This pattern is years old. And it has to change. I have had some success over the last week or two. Hotel nights I have been pretty good about hitting the TV off button at around 11pm and just going to bed. I've even found myself waking up between 6 and 7am before the alarm. And I do think it's making a difference, energy wise. The problem is I haven't completely cracked it yet.

Weekends are again a problem, it seems. Friday nights after travelling home I am so tired that I often fall back into the bad sleep pattern outlined above; although kicked off by not just going to bed anyway. Saturday I want to stay up and watch the football (soccer) highlights of the Premier League, always fall asleep during them and fall back into the pattern. Sundays I'm better about going to bed, but only because I know I have to get up Monday at 4am to start the weekly journey cycle back to Belgium. So even when I'm great during the week, 3 nights out of 7 I'm terrible.

Last week I came home on Thursday but had to get up at 4.30am on Friday to go to the UK office...folllowed by a similar Friday and Saturday night. Lying awake at 2am last night after just getting to bed, I considered why this was.

1. I miss the tell-tale signal that my body always gives me, indicating the last chance to go to bed before I fall asleep on the sofa. There's always one - the head-nod, often seen on trains with worn-out commuters succumbing to the movement and sound, the eyes drooping, Mrs Moose saying "why don't you go to bed?". Something is always there. When the trigger is obeyed, no problem; when ignored, hello sore eyes, bad sleep and a another step back on the road to adrenal recovery. I liken this to ignoring the trigger to stop eating when you're full. Sometimes the trigger happens and I remain blissfully unaware, because I don't even stop to think how hungry I am on the 1 to 10 scale during a meal. Sometimes I do stop and think...Saturday night we were out for a meal as a family. We had shared small starters between us, my main was delicious and a reasonably healthy pasta dish. After finishing it, I did pause to consider my hunger level. About a 4. So I will treat myself to dessert. When the lemon torte arrived however, I just marched straight through it all. 3 bites would have been sufficient for me to hit about 2 on the scale, and stop. But I waded right on through...
2. My mattress is now over 15 years old. Designed for up to 100kgs, it has taken a battering over those years. Much of that time I have exceeded that weight limit. And 15 years is, according to all experts, too long. The impact is that my back nearly always aches in the mornings after a night in my bed. Not in a hotel, but my own bed in my own home. I believe the lack of desire for this ache is a contributory factor in stopping me going to bed. Strangely, my back doesn't hurt after a night on the sofa. So I resolved in the middle of the night to get a new mattress. Another thing to add to the Giving it Everything list.

I am known as someone who likes to sleep. And I do. So I am going to give it everything and sleep my way to weight loss. As long as I blog about it, it's bound to be successful...

Weekend breaks

Last weekend was a bit of an enforced break from blogging, as we had some internet connectivity issues in our new house. I settled with the idea that this blog could be a 5 day a week thing...posts typed up on arrival at work, and just published in time to meet the rest of the day antlers on.


But now I'm having second thoughts. My weekend was bad from a number of different viewpoints. What I ate wasn't great. How I ate definitely could have been improved. How much I ate doesn't even bear thinking about. Exercise was mixed but the drive wasn't there, and I have to admit also continued into the start of the work week. And of course, I didn't post all weekend.


And since I've discovered the magical link between blogging and weight loss, I have now concluded that I simply can't afford not to post on the weekends. The impact on my weight curve is too significant, and even if I have a great rest of the week, I cannot fully recover the damage done at the weekend. and damage limitation doesn't feel good. I'd much rather be making real progress.


I come back to my caption under the "target me" photo at the right. Although written in jest, there is some truth to the fact that I will lose the weight when I have blogged enough...I searched a couple of other blogs yesterday and found that, just like my previous attempts, there are a large number of long-untouched blogs, mostly written by people who are still to be successful in this weight loss journey, and many more that are carefully tended like a bonsai, mostly written by people who have been or are being successful...people who have blogged enough.

Blogging = Success!

Where am I going?

A new start to the week and Monday is a great day to ask such questions.

And brings me on to the subject of targets. Where am I going with all this weight loss malarkey?

I have always struggled to set a specific weight target, worrying endlessly and needlessly about whether it was the right target or not.

• I remember weighing 92kg while at University and playing/refereeing football (or soccer if you must...) twice a week. Actually, Mrs Moose remembers that and I remember her telling me, often. Whatever.


• I remember having a "heaviest player" competition in a football (still soccer...) team I was in while living in Germany in the early 90's, and not "winning" it because I was "only" 93kg.


• I look at the picture of the guy on the right and try to estimate what my weight would be if I looked like that, fit and healthy, lean but not too thin. I guess 90-95kg.


• I calculate my non-fat kgs now, and add 15% fat (which is a seriously low target!) and get to 92.8kg...adding 20% would be 98.6kg. And it frightens me to target set below that level.


• Milestones are important. 20kg loss? 25kg? What about to get under 100kg...back into double figures?

I did say I was better at contemplation than action, didn't I?

Decision time...My target weight is 98.3kg.

Why? It is below 100kg, it's exactly 20kg weight loss from where I started, and it will be approx 20% body fat, depending on what happens with all the rest of my body...I might shed my antlers by then, lose a leg in a bear trap or have my hind quarters shot off by a hunter.

By when? Good question...does it matter? Probably. And as I'm following the full list, I need to set a deadline. 1kg per week always seems like a good trajectory to aim at. That would be 20 weeks from the start, or on 19th January. But I always weigh in on a Saturday and Christmas is in between...so I'm going to be generous to myself and say 29th January 2011.

So that's where I'm going. Phew, I need a lie down...

Progress Update: Weigh in Saturday morning at 117.9kg. 0.3 kg loss. Proof that BLOGGING WORKS!!!

Running on Saturday morning (with mooselets in tow on their bikes) and I ripped a calf muscle (again). I hate all my injuries...this week's cardio now restricted to bike and rowing. Half an hours mountain biking on Sunday and moving some boxes. Food more of a problem. 3 times over the weekend I ate more than I needed and went well past the "full" point. I am getting better at eating slowly though...

Giving it everything...

While writing a weight loss blog is clearly the most important success factor in shedding excess weight, my analysis of weight loss research leads me to conclude that a "few" other things might help too.

During my years of lack of success, I feel I may have been too limited in my approach, switching from one focus to another, back again, something new today and then something else again tomorrow. Always looking for the "silver bullet". Now I've found the silver bullet - blogging - I can stop searching.

As a result, my level of faith in any one of the other single ideas to lose weight has plummetted. It's logical therefore that I need to do all of them at once, rather than rely on any one or two things. For the next 4 weeks I will attempt to do everything on the list below. Everything. Every last idea. I'm throwing the kitchen sink at it. I'm giving it my all. September is a giving month.

I got to the list by a simple browsing of weight loss websites, blogs etc to look for what gives success. While there are a lot of different ideas out there, it's actually quite surprising at the lack of contradiction between them all. This was what led me to conclude that you can do it all. Well, OK, you can't eat both a low-carb and a high-carb diet...both of which are out there. But apart from that, most stuff can be combined. So unless the combination of all of them reduces the effectiveness, I must be onto a winner. Oops, nearly forgot, I AM onto a winner anyway because I'm writing the blog...


The list, in no particular order:

• Eat less (yeah, yeah, boring!)
• Exercise more (yawn!)
• Write a diary: both to log the food I eat AND to explore why I overeat
• Focus on healthy not thin
• Eat only when I'm hungry
• Stop eating when I'm no longer hungry
• Eat slowly
• Strictly control bad fats (but not all fat is bad!)
• Eat breakfast
• Set a target
• Go public with friends, family or the web
• Target small, steady change towards my goal
• Eat what I want (subject to the other eating restrictions above...actually not very restrictive)
• Take Acai and Colon Cleanse supplements every day
• Drink water before each meal
• Drink water the rest of the time too
• Sleep well (7 to 8 hours per night)
• Don't eat while watching TV/sitting on the sofa
• Up the iodine (I have suspected under-active thyroid, so in the time it takes to get a doctor's appointment to test it, I'm going for diet/supplemental improvement anyway...bring on the sushi!)
• Adrenal gland supplements (I have already been diagnosed with fatigued adrenal glands...also a potential link to the thyroid???)
• General vitamin/mineral supplements (Multivitamins and a Vit B complex)

Seems like a lot. doesn't it? I have left one thing off, purposefully. I can not and will not attend a support group. I have nothing against any of them as such. But my travelling lifestyle makes it nearly impossible (I don't speak Dutch so midweek meetings are out), and the eating rules/points etc would almost certainly contradict with many of my other points. So I'm not doing it. That's final. Besides, I am a Moose and I don't think they make scales suitable, or have doorways large enough for me to get my antlers through.

Future posts will cover updates (public accountability) and further exploration of the individual items on the list.

So, instead of here goes nothing...here goes everything!